Tag Archives: tlc

They Won’t Stop ‘Til They Get Enough

18kidsYesterday, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar announced on the Today Show that they will be expecting their 19th child.  Nineteen.  TLC, which airs the Duggars’ reality series, can’t keep up.  The series was titled “17 Kids and Counting” just last year when it premiered in September 2008.  This season, it’s already “18 Kids and Counting,” and unless Jim Bob can reign in his Arkansas charm, they’ll probably reach 20+.  By now, TLC execs are probably tired of all the re-branding they have to do… “Infinity and counting” seems to be a more appropriate, permanent title.

Admittedly, I don’t watch the Duggars’ show.  I’m not the type of person who enjoys Christian values, Southerners, or babies.  In fact, after watching the “Miracle of Birth” video in high school, I’m scared to death of having children.  If had the choice, I’d rather put my baby inside an Easy Bake Oven and wait until the bing!… it’s done!  It’s a boy!

Clearly I’m no Michelle Duggar, who has now been pregnant for 13 years of her life (two sets of twins).  She’s given birth to more children than the entire town of Dellview, North Carolina (population: 16).  And her Easy Bake Oven is not finished yet.

But even though my uterus is afraid of them, I do appreciate children, and I respect people’s rights to have them (hey there, crazy Octomom).  As the Duggars say, every child is a gift from God.  I believe that too, but only if they’re Christian children whose names start with J.  (The kids who watch television and suck face before marriage are just offspring of the Devil.)

So anyways, congratulations to the Duggars.  And as for TLC, I see some new advertisers in your midst…

pringles nike




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There’s an Icebox Where My Heart Used to Be

I have a confession: I cry at movies.  I cried buckets during The Dark Knight and Benjamin Button.  I obliterated the tissue box during My Dog Skip.  I even cried while watching last night’s Momma’s Boys finale on NBC.

But, the last time I cried in real life?  Can’t remember…

So why is it that Biggest Loser promos will make me tear up, while heartwarming wedding toasts will leave my cheeks dry?

jonkate8_s12Maybe my life just isn’t all that eventful.  I’m not aging backwards or being hunted by a psychopathic joker.  I didn’t pose for Penthouse and remorsefully reveal it on national television.  Maybe my life is just mundane compared to the melodrama happening on the screen.

Or maybe it’s because I feel more sorry for others than I do myself.  If I were getting chewed out for being massively obese, I’d probably respond with a stoic, “bite me” attitude.  However, when I’m watching others get called out, I’m in shambles.  Tissues can’t contain the waterworks.  It’s a mess.

My friends affectionately call me “icebox” for my inability to show a lot of emotion in everyday life… However, I think the true test of our empathy comes from our gut reactions to the travails of others.  The drama of movies and trashy reality shows brings out the crybaby in all of us.  Well… at least it does in me.  So if I don’t shed tears of joy at your wedding, please don’t hold it against me.  Just remember that the next time I cry during Jon and Kate Plus 8, some of those tears will be for you.

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