When you graduate from college, your circle of friends will inevitably do two things: #1 – Promise to visit each other and stay friends forever and ever and ever, and #2 – Create a mailing list with a clever title, like “She Wolves” or “Homies Sweet Homies.” Really, #2 is for when you realize that #1 won’t work out, especially if your friends are bankers.
The friends’ mailing list is sacred: within its archives, you will find serious discussions, biting arguments, soliloquies, confessions, rambles, insults, and of course, gossip. On my mailing list, some recent topics of conversation included: Halloween costumes, celebrity baby names, spelling, becoming fat because your friends are fat, thoughts on academic freedom/torture, and Miley Cyrus. Naturally.
Of course, besides heated discussion about talentless seventeen year-olds, the main purpose of the mailing list is to share absurd links with your friends. So, here are some obscure links from my industrious group of procrastinating friends.
- Ad for “Georgetown sophomore seeking a personal assistant“: Apparently, the sophomore is looking for a fellow undergrad to be his bitch: to “organize closet / make bed / and do laundry” for him, amongst other tasks. He’ll pay $12/hour, plus “bonus” opportunities. This has got to be the most blatant case of sex-soliciting in DC since Larry Craig.
- Profile of Ashley Tellis, Senior Associate at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace: With the message, “What would an ‘Ashley Tellis’ look like to you? I think: white, mid-40s, hippie parents with a questionable taste in first names.” See the picture above, from the link to Carnegie’s website. Yes, that is Ashley Tellis. Viva assimilation!
- The Cat Game: Okay, I have to admit that my mom actually sent this to me. But then a college friend sent it as well, so I suppose my mom is just that cool (or, my friends are just that lame). This may ruin a good half-hour of your time, but it’s worth it when you finally corral that stupid black cat.