It’s that time of the year again, when the big-bellied man up North holds center stage. He’s rounding up his minions, firing up his sled, and getting ready to dole out holiday gifts with gusto. What will he bring us this year–maybe a Kindle, a brand new pair of socks, or perhaps a plutonium-fueled nuclear fission bomb?
Of course, I’m talking about Kim Jong-Il, the jolly yet combustible man-who-always-wears-sunglasses-and-would-be-a-great-Oakley-spokesman-if-he-weren’t-a-ruthless-Communist-dictator. It all started right after Thanksgiving with a random November attack on a disputed South Korean island. Then, with his son/successor/Mini-Me by his side, KJI proceeded to make numerous threats to blow South Korea to smithereens… yes, season’s greetings from your favorite psychopathic, WMD-waving dictator. Who doesn’t love the threat of world-ending nuclear war? What will he bring us next year–an anthrax-exploding Christmas card signed lustily by the Chinese and Russians?
North Korea has always served as a great American buzzkill, trying to ruin our holiday season by being crazy. So, to get you back in the Christmas spirit (and to take your mind off uranium isotopes that could melt your brains), please celebrate the holiday season with joy, laughter, and of course, more of Kim Jong-Il: